My long, unnecessary and belated rant and rave on Henry Cavill being the next Superman

By now, everyone and their mothers already know that Henry Cavill has been cast as the new Superman. Reactions were mixed—most hardcore Superman and comic book geek fans are saying that he doesn’t fit or look the part, while others are complaining that he’s British ergo, a complete slap in the face of Truth, Justice, and the American Way.

Well, fuck all of that.

I will be completely honest and superficial enough to tell you that at this point, those arguments are completely irrelevant to me at this point.

Let me tell you what *I* think as a Henry Cavill fan girl.

(And this is the part where I lose some fanboy readers…XD No seriously don’t leave yet, there is a point at the end.)

I have been a Henry Cavill fan ever since he graced the screen as Albert Mondego in Count of Monte Cristo (2002). I’m shallow and I obviously liked him because he was

But after seeing him in the film version of Dodie Smith’s I Capture the Castle, I was officially taken. Boy can act. It’s not ‘OMFG get him an Oscar NAO’ but still, it was decent. Something I didn’t expect from a pretty actor.

TRUFAX: I still cry every time I watch this scene he shared with Romola Garai.

For almost ten years, I have waited for Cavill to get the big movie screen debut that I thought he deserved. But it didn’t happen. Outside of the deliciously epic drama, The Tudors, he hasn’t been in the most noteworthy of films (ahem, Hellraisers).

There were a few ‘almost’ big roles that he didn’t get too.  He almost wore the cape for Superman Returns but lost the role to Brandon Routh. Same goes for Batman Begins and we all know who that Jesus Bale got that part. He was a contender to play James Bond as well for Casino Royale, but seeing that he was too young at the time and the franchise was going for a serious-grittier-James Bond (translation: Jason Bourne), he got bypassed for craggy Daniel Craig.

And of course there’s Twilight. He was the top choice for the role of Edward considering that the author wrote that character with him in mind. But by the time, they got around to filming the popular vampire movie, Cavill was too old to play the sparkling vampire.

Now let me take a moment to be thankful for that, for it has saved me years of embarrassment donning a shirt that says, GTFO BELLA! EDWARD IS MINE!

So when my friend and fellow Cavill fan texted me news that our boy is the new Superman, I was beyond ecstatic. If I could have it my way, I would have preferred to see him as James Bond, but nonetheless I was shaking and crying and singing songs of praise, because hallelujah there is a god after all.

And this is where I have to make things clear: I am creaming my pants because he finally has a project big enough for me to actually see him splashed all over the internet and probably hopefully land him on the cover of GQ or Vanity Fair.

Again, it is superficial. It has nothing to do whatsoever with Superman the movie, the character, or the comic book itself.

And now we go to that.

Now that my excitement of the news has died down (a little) I can now see why the fanboys got their panties all in a twist.

Their biggest beef with Cavill as Clark Kent is that he is British. Superman though alien was raised in Kansas (in a fucking corn field no less) and grew up to be the symbol of America. Purists see this casting move unacceptable--a grave injustice to America. 

But why?!

They (ahem, my brother) argue that it’s okay for Brits like Christian Bale and Andrew Garfield to be Batman and Spider-Man because they don’t have the burden of being a huge American icon.  

I get that. I really do. I would have rather that the role was given to someone like Matt Bomer or Jon Hamm, but I’m also not sorry that it didn’t. Congratulations though Matt for that having that face. 

Does that make me a bad geek? Maybe. But guys, Cavill being British is really the least of my problem right now.

Contrary to popular belief, the last Superman sucked not because of Brandon Routh. He was entertaining and charming and perfect for the role and I would have loved to see him again play the bumbling Clark Kent. If you’re looking for the true culprit, then the blame should be dumped on Bryan Singer who ruined the film for me.

For this rebooted version, some fans are hopeful because David Goyer and Chris Nolan are behind this project, as writer and producer respectively. With the same duo responsible for the success of the new Batman franchise, all roads to the new Superman seem to be leading in the Dark Knight epicness scale which is the best place you want your movie to be in this post-Dark Kight era. But I don’t want to get my hopes up just yet because Zack Snyder is the one who’s really directing this film.

Zack Snyder. Sure, 300 was entertaining and it gave us enough Spartan jokes to last us a lifetime. But when it comes to the project that mattered most, Watchmen, I was left hugely disappointed. I know Watchmen is a feat to turn into film, but with the exception of Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach, that whole movie sucked to the bone--for me at least. I mean Dr. Manhattan’s blue dick is still searing my brain, oh my god I might need therapy for this.

And that’s my fear basically. That Superman might suck because the director messed it up (SYNDER CAM). If this movie turns out bad, everyone will just remember Henry as the worst Superman ever…until five years later when Hollywood decides to reboot it again.

Also. Another huge problem in the horizon is Lois Lane. In the last Superman movie, Kate Bosworth did an amazing job at proving to us that she really can't act for shit--even a pad paper can outshine her in that movie. You'd think for this reboot, they'd step up, right?

Guess what, Kristen Stewart’s name is now getting thrown in the mix for Lois Lane.

It's probably a rumor at this point, but you'll never know. Blake Lively was once in the running to be Daisy Buchanan so...

I swear to god though if K-Stew gets the part she’ll just blink through the whole movie and bore us to death. So I hope someone can step in and intervene and start calling Rachel McAdams’ agent because if K-Stew gets the part, there's a good chance I'll go batshit crazy fan girl. And I don’t think anyone can save me from the embarrassment of a donning a shirt that says, GTFO LOIS! CLARK IS MINE!