My long, unnecessary and belated rant and rave on Henry Cavill being the next Superman

By now, everyone and their mothers already know that Henry Cavill has been cast as the new Superman. Reactions were mixed—most hardcore Superman and comic book geek fans are saying that he doesn’t fit or look the part, while others are complaining that he’s British ergo, a complete slap in the face of Truth, Justice, and the American Way.

Well, fuck all of that.

I will be completely honest and superficial enough to tell you that at this point, those arguments are completely irrelevant to me at this point.

Let me tell you what *I* think as a Henry Cavill fan girl.

(And this is the part where I lose some fanboy readers…XD No seriously don’t leave yet, there is a point at the end.)

I have been a Henry Cavill fan ever since he graced the screen as Albert Mondego in Count of Monte Cristo (2002). I’m shallow and I obviously liked him because he was

But after seeing him in the film version of Dodie Smith’s I Capture the Castle, I was officially taken. Boy can act. It’s not ‘OMFG get him an Oscar NAO’ but still, it was decent. Something I didn’t expect from a pretty actor.

TRUFAX: I still cry every time I watch this scene he shared with Romola Garai.

For almost ten years, I have waited for Cavill to get the big movie screen debut that I thought he deserved. But it didn’t happen. Outside of the deliciously epic drama, The Tudors, he hasn’t been in the most noteworthy of films (ahem, Hellraisers).

There were a few ‘almost’ big roles that he didn’t get too.  He almost wore the cape for Superman Returns but lost the role to Brandon Routh. Same goes for Batman Begins and we all know who that Jesus Bale got that part. He was a contender to play James Bond as well for Casino Royale, but seeing that he was too young at the time and the franchise was going for a serious-grittier-James Bond (translation: Jason Bourne), he got bypassed for craggy Daniel Craig.

And of course there’s Twilight. He was the top choice for the role of Edward considering that the author wrote that character with him in mind. But by the time, they got around to filming the popular vampire movie, Cavill was too old to play the sparkling vampire.

Now let me take a moment to be thankful for that, for it has saved me years of embarrassment donning a shirt that says, GTFO BELLA! EDWARD IS MINE!

So when my friend and fellow Cavill fan texted me news that our boy is the new Superman, I was beyond ecstatic. If I could have it my way, I would have preferred to see him as James Bond, but nonetheless I was shaking and crying and singing songs of praise, because hallelujah there is a god after all.

And this is where I have to make things clear: I am creaming my pants because he finally has a project big enough for me to actually see him splashed all over the internet and probably hopefully land him on the cover of GQ or Vanity Fair.

Again, it is superficial. It has nothing to do whatsoever with Superman the movie, the character, or the comic book itself.

And now we go to that.

Now that my excitement of the news has died down (a little) I can now see why the fanboys got their panties all in a twist.

Their biggest beef with Cavill as Clark Kent is that he is British. Superman though alien was raised in Kansas (in a fucking corn field no less) and grew up to be the symbol of America. Purists see this casting move unacceptable--a grave injustice to America. 

But why?!

They (ahem, my brother) argue that it’s okay for Brits like Christian Bale and Andrew Garfield to be Batman and Spider-Man because they don’t have the burden of being a huge American icon.  

I get that. I really do. I would have rather that the role was given to someone like Matt Bomer or Jon Hamm, but I’m also not sorry that it didn’t. Congratulations though Matt for that having that face. 

Does that make me a bad geek? Maybe. But guys, Cavill being British is really the least of my problem right now.

Contrary to popular belief, the last Superman sucked not because of Brandon Routh. He was entertaining and charming and perfect for the role and I would have loved to see him again play the bumbling Clark Kent. If you’re looking for the true culprit, then the blame should be dumped on Bryan Singer who ruined the film for me.

For this rebooted version, some fans are hopeful because David Goyer and Chris Nolan are behind this project, as writer and producer respectively. With the same duo responsible for the success of the new Batman franchise, all roads to the new Superman seem to be leading in the Dark Knight epicness scale which is the best place you want your movie to be in this post-Dark Kight era. But I don’t want to get my hopes up just yet because Zack Snyder is the one who’s really directing this film.

Zack Snyder. Sure, 300 was entertaining and it gave us enough Spartan jokes to last us a lifetime. But when it comes to the project that mattered most, Watchmen, I was left hugely disappointed. I know Watchmen is a feat to turn into film, but with the exception of Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach, that whole movie sucked to the bone--for me at least. I mean Dr. Manhattan’s blue dick is still searing my brain, oh my god I might need therapy for this.

And that’s my fear basically. That Superman might suck because the director messed it up (SYNDER CAM). If this movie turns out bad, everyone will just remember Henry as the worst Superman ever…until five years later when Hollywood decides to reboot it again.

Also. Another huge problem in the horizon is Lois Lane. In the last Superman movie, Kate Bosworth did an amazing job at proving to us that she really can't act for shit--even a pad paper can outshine her in that movie. You'd think for this reboot, they'd step up, right?

Guess what, Kristen Stewart’s name is now getting thrown in the mix for Lois Lane.

It's probably a rumor at this point, but you'll never know. Blake Lively was once in the running to be Daisy Buchanan so...

I swear to god though if K-Stew gets the part she’ll just blink through the whole movie and bore us to death. So I hope someone can step in and intervene and start calling Rachel McAdams’ agent because if K-Stew gets the part, there's a good chance I'll go batshit crazy fan girl. And I don’t think anyone can save me from the embarrassment of a donning a shirt that says, GTFO LOIS! CLARK IS MINE!

Harry Potter cast tries to talk with an American accent

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

...also known as the video where Tom Felton wins your heart just by saying, 'BOO YAH'.

I heart that boy so much.

Zits

This is interesting. CBS apparently picked up the rights to Jerry Scott's and cartoonist Jim Borgmann's popular comic strip, Zits. The live-action comedy explores the life of 16-year old Jeremy Duncan and his comical relationship with his parents.

I love this comic strip. It's funny, witty, and oh-so-true. My slacker of a brother specially gets a kick out of it. Every time he reads it in the newspaper he just screams "MY! LIFE! MY FUCKIN LIFE!"

So the question now is...can this brilliant concept translate well into TV? Much of my reservation for this stems from the fact that Zits works best in small doses. The jokes are short, quick, and funny. But for a half-hour show, there's a huge chance that it'll just turn out whiny and annoying.

The only upside to this is that, if they really follow the vein of the comic strip, we might finally be able to see a teen-oriented show that depicts high school life realistically: bad clothes, mediocrity, and omg zits.

Oh CW, I love the way you lie... 

Red Riding Hood

The trailer for Summit’s Red Riding Hood was recently released and boy, this is definitely not the Little Red of your childhood.

Because if you were like me, the version that was read to you many times tells the story of a little girl in a bright red hood who meets a wolf in the middle of woods en route to her granny’s house. Little Red tells Mr. Wolf of her plans, and because he’s a big bad hungry wolf (they always are), he hurries to grandma’s house, gets there before the girl does, eats grandma, wears her clothes, and waits for the girl. When she gets there she goes “Oh what big teeth you have”. Aaand he eats her.

In the end though they were deus ex machinally (yes, I just used that as an adverb) saved by a hunter who just happen to passed by. He cuts the wolf’s belly and saves Little Red and Grandma.

Also. If you were like me, my Little Red Riding Hood story-telling experience involved a creepy topsy turvy doll. On one side, it’s granny. On the back side, it’s the wolf in granny’s clothes. Now if you flip the skirt, surprise! It turns into Little Red. SO DISTURBING.

Anyhoo. This new film starring Amanda Seyfreid is more of a retelling of the classic tale.

Ooh I love using that word, “retelling”. It’s something that I picked up in college along with the knowledge that wolves don’t talk and they don’t eat their prey like a boa constrictor does.

You know what else college teaches you aside from procrastination, weed, caffeine, weed, beer bong, weed, and Foucault? It teaches you that fairy tales and children stories are not what they always deemed to be. Mice won’t make ball dresses for you. Princes can and will have sex with you while you’re in a coma. And in the case of Little Red… there is bestiality.

So you see. There was a reason why Retelling was such a popular elective back in my university.

In this 2011 version, the film opts for a darker and more-Gothic tone. I like it. The cinematography looks beautiful. Gary Oldman is in it! And no, there is no bestiality. But yes, there is a hint of sex. With a smexy hunter. And because I have a feeling this story would take the Angela Carter route, then that boy is the mystery werewolf. Spoiler schmoiler. It makes sense, right? Because if there’s anything that Taylor Lautner has taught us… 

Hmmm. Wait. What? Oh yeah, so as I was saying before I got distracted with abs is that…

GAH! khdflkgjh;gdjskfhlfwrypjhlhng;'jfhl. Anyway, this adaptation is directed by Catherine Hardwicke of the Twilight fame. You could easily sense that from the sweeping shots of landscapes with tall coniferous trees and the cheesy googly-eyed Bella-Edward exchange between Amanda Seyfreid and Shiloh Fernandez when he said “I’m wrong for you” and she goes, “I don’t care” and omg I am tempted to add another Taylor Lautner pic. But I don’t want to lose the two people who actually bother to read this blog. So here’s the trailer. Enjoy.



What do you think? Do you like it? What versions of this story have you read, liked, or found interesting? If you ask me, this version is my favorite:

Carrey Mulligan in The Great Gatsby

I knew it. I knew it.

After every credible white actress in Hollywood competed for the coveted role of Daisy Buchanan in the highly buzzed Baz Luhrmann rendition of F. Scott Fitzgerald's novel, casting closed deal and the part finally went to.... Carrey Mulligan.

She is not my top choice for the role. I am a Keira Knightely fangirl who can not imagine her doing anything that does not involve the words "period costume" so imo, she should have had this in the bag. Not that I have anything against Grandma Mulligan, acting-wise. I mean, she was great in An Education. It's just that, I don't find her exciting. At all. I stare at her and immediately I feel like grabbing some yarn and knitting needles.

But my unfounded bias aside, I kind of had a feeling she'll end up getting the part. If only because the other actresses who were in the running to be America's next Daisy Buchanan (say it, like Tyra does), were either:

a) already attached with so many projects that it will be physically impossible for them to squeeze in a big budget glitterati film of this kind (ie. Scarlett Johansson who is slated to do Cameron Crowe's We Bought a Zoo and of course the upcoming Marvel-juggernaut The Avengers)    

b) busy writing "the female version of Superbad", blowjobs and all (ie. Natalie Portman)

c) is going to have a mini-hiatus from acting (ie. Michelle Williams)

d) Serena van der Woodsen

Considering the options, and when I say that I mean OPTION D, Carrey Mulligan doesn't seem so bad after all. 

Belle du Seigneur

GYADDAMIT! Here's another case of beautiful people being beautiful. Two of my favorite people are coming together for an awesome film. Supermodel Natalia Vodianova teams up with Jonathan Rhys Meyers also known as the man with the eyes that rape The Tudors' King Henry for her debut leading role (let's just all forget that she was part in the epic disaster that is Clash of the Titans. As the she-monster Medusa, they didn't really utilize her gorgeous face properly. But then again, that movie didn't utilize the whole freakin Greek mythology properly either). The film is an adaptation of Albert Cohen's best-selling novel about the love affair between a WWII Jewish high-ranking official and a married Swiss woman.

It pretty much sounds like every other period love story that existed. There's drama, war, forbidden love, infuriatingly good looking people, picturesque locations, and even though these early photos are making it seem like they are posing for Horse Connection magazine or a highly stylized Ralph Lauren ad campaign (oh the breeches!), I'm sure, there will be a lot of pretty costumes too.

Belle du Seigneur will be released on 2012.

Beautiful people being beautiful

Jeremy Young and Sara Blomqvist
by Andreas Öhlund for Stockholm, Spring 2011